101 Piratical Security Contractor Quotes.

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Hello, my name is Jeff. The author of “The SHTF Art of War”.

I am also a former Security Contractor that has worked in the Middle East.

I was fortunate to have been able to be around some very practical and extremely knowledgeable individuals while working on various contracts.  More often than not, I find those type of qualities to be a rare thing in the world of contracting.

And when I say “contracting” I’m referring to working as a civilian in a conflict zone for a private company that’s procured a contract to provide a specific service to the U.S. Government or other various agencies.

My footsteps through the sandbox led me to cross paths with some seasoned men on their own program, so to speak, such as James Price of Death Valley Magazine and Tom (Tomahawk) Moore who just recently appeared on the Discovery channels survival show called “Dude You’re Screwed”.

I met a few other warrior philosophers like Tom and James in my warmongering travels as well.  I’m thankful that I had the presence of mind to keep my mouth shut and listen to those who live life on their own terms, outside the normal 9 to 5 stateside world. 

During my travels and working on various contracts in the Middle East, I wrote down those pearls and gems of advice spoken by those wise and sometimes cantankerous pirate types that operated on their own program.

While they may not all be new or original, I will now share my compiled list of …

“101 Piratical Contractor Quotes”.

1)      “Know where all the bunkers are located.”

2)      “You can make some extra cash on the side while on the job by writing résumé’s for your co-workers.”

3)      “It’s best to find somebody in the job…to get the job.”

4)      “It helps to know somebody who knows somebody in the company.”

5)      “All the rules change when you get to the job site.”

6)      “I can’t believe they hired me for this job.”

7)      “Keep a resume on hand at all times and don’t be afraid to apply for job postings even if you think you’re not qualified.”

8)      “I aim for the lower-end jobs because it’s easier to get in and stand out as

a performer.”

9)      “It’s best for you to have a buddy already in the job, because he can get you in ahead of the rest of the applicants.”

10)  “There can be delays during your processing with the company.  This can result in

you not leaving for a week or maybe more.  This could also keep you from getting paid

for a week or two.  Have some money set aside for this bank breaking crisis.”

11)  “Be leery of a company that doesn’t make your travel arrangements.”

12)  “Pack light, your first trip.”

13)  “If it’s hot, make sure you bring lots of socks, t-shirts and underwear.”

14)  “The less the company spends on you the more money it puts in their pockets.”

15)  “I don’t buy crap!”

16)  “The longer you’re in special forces, the shorter your knife gets.”

17)  “The most valuable thing you own is your reputation.”

18)  “Take care of the people who pay you, equip you and feed you.”

19)  “Sometimes supervisors and bosses are worried someone smarter than them will come along take their job.  So if you have a better idea on something and want to reduce the chances of you being seen as a threat, you better figure out a way to make it their idea.”

20)  “How does this affect my pay check?”

21)  “It’s wise to avoiding political and religious debates with the locals.”

22)  “Beware of Russian prostitutes with bad passports. It can only go from bad to worse.  Stick with the local girls.”

23)  “Make sure you take care of the “go to” guy who brings you to the markets for the first time.  Pay for his lunch and the taxi cab.”

24)  “I like an accountant that can operate in the grey area.”

25)  “Maintain your contacts.”

26)  “The bigger the paycheck the more lies you can accept.”

27)  “Time served in a company goes a lot farther than what you know.”

28)  “If they want you they want you. If they don’t they don’t.”

29)  “It’s harder on guys that have never been in the military or away from home.”

30)  “Overseas contracting is like going to a strip club in a 3rd world country.  Once you’ve been to one, the state side ones lose their allure.”

31)  “Just when you think you’ve filled out all the paperwork…there will be more.”

32)  “Be careful who you tell about a job opportunity, you just might have to work with that person.”

33)  “Wear flip-flops to avoid shower cuties.  Have two pair in case you have a blowout.”

34)  “A guy can make a lot of extra cash with some talent and tattoo equipment.”

35)  “It’s their land…you’re the immigrant.”

36)  “If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t do it faster.”

37)  “Recruiters lie to you.”

38)  “Your ability to handle stress is a key element of success.”

39)  “Don’t spread the word until you get yours.”

40)  “Be a professional even if you’re taking out the trash.”

41)  “Keep track of the favors you do and who you do them for, so you can call them in at a future date.  Write them down if you have to.”

42)  “Posers beware, there are guys out there contracting, who specialize in sniffing you out.  They’ll expose you to everyone for the phony you are.”

43)  “You want solid answers?…Go straight to the source.”

44)  “Know when to speak and when not to.”

45)  “Don’t let yourself get drawn into the B.S.”

46)  “Stay focused, earn your paycheck and go home.”

47)  “Choose your friends wisely.  When you choose your friends you choose your future.”

48)  “Get into your mental groove to finish your contract.”

49)  “Once you get home it will take you 3 to 4 months or longer to adjust from the solitary habits and routines you learned in the contracting world.”

50)  “You’ll be lucky to get your first paycheck during the first month with a contracting company.”

51)  “Try your best at looking non essential.”

52)  “Request a handicap room at hotels.  The rooms are almost always available and much bigger.”

53)  “There’s no crying in contracting.”

54)  “Stay away from the desert rose, i.e. female. Military and civilian.  If you ignore this rule only pain, misery, torment and torture are in your future.”

55)  “You gotta cheat anyway you can.”

56)  “Military aircraft are usually cold; bring a fleece pull over.  It can double as a pillow or back support.”

57)  “Attach a quality D-Ring (carabiner) to your carry-on bag so you can clip it in to the cargo net seats in military aircraft like a C-130.”

58)  “If you’re not used to flying, bring your own  puke bag for C-130 flights into a FOB.”

59)  “Avoid using MWR services at military shift change.  Use them at odd hours.”

60)  “Use the shower at odd hours to avoid the rush and increase your odds in having hot water.”

61)  “The number one rule of contracting is; don’t trust other contractors.”

62)  “The base education center will most likely have open computers for you to check e-mail when all the MWR computers are full.”

63)  “The smart guys break out into a niche job within the company to make the real money.”

64)  “Travel, talk to everyone and treat people well.  Collect adventures, and use them to understand the world.”

65)  “Traveling in military aircraft is noisy.  Keep extra sets of foam ear plugs in your carry-on luggage.”

66)  “Don’t trust the locals.”

67)  “Stay in your lane; meaning mind your own business.”

68)  “No matter how big the company is or how well they treat you, they are still lying to you on some level.”

69)  “Contracting is NOT corporate America.  Don’t do anything until it’s on paper with signatures.”

70)  “Sometimes the battle isn’t worth fighting even when you’re right.”

71)  “You can’t fix stupid.”

72)  “Don’t get too big for britches to soon.”

73)  “Get it to-go at the chow hall.”

74)  “Never accept a webcam invite from a contractor.”

75)  “The term Drug Deal or Dope Deal refers to agreements with management that are made at your job site that have no guarantee.”

76)  “Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.”

77)  “It’s not if you’ll have pay issues, but when you’ll have a pay issue.”

78)  “Cover your ass and save every email you get and every form you fill out for the company.  They will lose emails and some of the paperwork you fill out.”

79)  “Contracting teaches you to become a seriously untrustworthy S.O.B.”

80)  “Don’t take another job or leave your current position without an offer letter.”

81)  “Always have a knife on you.”

82)  “If you have to use the phrase, can I borrow your knife…You’re a Pussy.”

83)  “Avoid sitting in the right rear seat of a Blackhawk helicopter.  This seat is known as the hurricane seat.  You’ll have to turn your head to the side to breath.”

84)  “Always try to get the bottom bunk.  It’s lower to the floor and low is where you want to be when shrapnel from incoming rockets starts flying around.”

85)  “Drinking buddies have preference when positions within the company or job site open up.”

86)  “Be prepared to work and deal with assholes.”

87)  “When inside your room, leave a key in lock so you can get out faster in an emergency.  It helps to attach a micro light to the key as well.”

88)  “The squeaky wheel always gets the grease.  ALWAYS.”

89)  “You have to strategize you moves within the company like a mobster.”

90)  “Have a back-up to your back-up plan.”

91)  “If you can help people solve problems, you’ll become a very well connected individual.”

92)  “Pack your toiletries, socks, underwear and every day essentials at the top of your duffel bag.  This makes it easier to get at without having to unpack the whole bag during your transit to you final destination.”

93)  “Be prepared to leave everything you brought with you behind in case of an emergency.”

94)  “Pack light but pack for rain, snow, mud, wind and heat.”

95)  “Someone is passing the buck when they tell you you’ll get a particular piece of gear when you get down range or that someone will take care of it when you get to your work site in country.”

96)  “Have a few chem-light/glow sticks on hand for power outages.”

97)  “Don’t become too chummy with the TCN’s (Third Country Nationals) they will start asking you for things.”

98)  “No one cares more about your problems with the company more than you.  So follow up on your issues to get results.”

99)  “Never go on vacation during contract negotiations.”

100)  “October through February is the best time to get hired. Contracts are renewed at the beginning if the fiscal year.”

101) “There are people (snipers) that will knowingly watch you make a mistake without warning you, just to point at you and relish in your misery.”

These “101 Piratical Contractor Quotes” are from an ebook I wrote in 2009 when I came home from Iraq.

That little known book was called “Contractor Secrets Revealed.”  It has information that will pertain to anyone doing most any kind of contracting work overseas as well as armed service men & women on military deployments.  It’s filled with intricate details you can only learn by being there.

I’m making it available for FREE for a limited time.

It may be a little outdated but there might just be some information in it that will move you ahead of the herd of war mongers trying to get on a contracting job.  It also just might help advance you in your current job.

Just click the image below to get your FREE copy of the 135 page (PDF) book…

In c130two

Lastly, if you haven’t read “The SHTF Art of War” yet, and want to understand how your fellow man will change when the lights go out, fear not.

You can get it immediately with no waiting as a Kindle Download.

It’s also available in print.

Just click the image below.


Art of War Covera 1a1

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